For a marriage to truly thrive and bring us the full measure
of happiness that God intended, it must be seen as more than a legally-bound
agreement. Rather, we should view
marriage as a sacred covenant. Bruce C.
Hafen of the Seventy taught that keeping marriage covenants requires spouses to
“surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other. Then
they will discover what Alma called “incomprehensible joy” (Covenant Marriage, 1996). While the world would celebrates
easily-acquired temporal pleasures, they are shallow and short lived compared
to the lasting joys and happiness that can only come through long-term
commitment and sacrifice.
In the same talk, Elder Hafen gave these distinctions
between covenant marriages versus contractual marriages:
Contractual Marriage
|
Covenant Marriage
|
When troubles come, spouses seek
happiness by walking away.
|
When troubles come, spouses seek
happiness by working them through together.
|
Each person gives 50%
|
Each person give 100%
|
Spouses selfishly seek their own happiness.
|
Spouses selflessly look for ways to serve one another.
|
Critical
|
Complimentary
|
Autonomous – sees marriage and family
as a type of bondage
|
United by ties of love– sees marriage
and family as a haven of belonging
|
I think we could surmise that when spouses strive to develop
any Christ-like attribute they are more likely to have a covenant
marriage. This reminds me of the phrase
in the Family Proclamation which teaches that a successful marriage and family
needs to be based on Christ’s teachings, including repentance,
forgiveness, respect, love, and compassion (The Family, para. 7).
It Takes 3
A covenant marriage involves three parties: husband, wife, and Christ. As we seek to involve Christ and his
teachings into our marriage, it will have a positive influence our relationship
with one another. In the June 2006 Ensign, Elder David A. Bednar explained it this way:
“The Lord Jesus Christ is the focal point in a covenant marriage
relationship. Please notice how the Savior is positioned at the apex of this
triangle, with a woman at the base of one corner and a man at the base of the
other corner. Now consider what happens in the relationship between the man and
the woman as they individually and steadily “come unto Christ” and strive to be
“perfected in Him” (Moro. 10:32). Because of and through the Redeemer, the man
and the woman come closer together.”
Personal Application
In reading this I have to remind myself that if I want
Christ to be a part of my marriage, then I need to strive to emulate Him in the
way I treat my spouse. Are there any
attitudes or beliefs within my marriage that are contrary to His example? I know that I can use the power of His
atonement to overcome these personal weaknesses and improve my marriage
relationship.
References:
Bednar, David. Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal
Plan. Ensign. June 2006.
Hafen, Bruce. Covenant Marriage. Ensign. November 1996, 26.
The family: A proclamation to the world. (1995,
November). Ensign, 25, p. 102.
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