Becoming One

Many of us are familiar with the scripture where God commanded Adam and Eve to be one.  That doesn’t just mean one checking account, one house, or one bed.  He wants us to be one in purpose, just as Christ is one with His Father.  Doing so requires that we:

• Put the good of the marriage or family above our own interests.

Our position should be that “of cooperative consideration, carried out in perfect love and unselfishness” (Camilla Kimball, quoted by Miller, 2009).

• Seek to understand God’s will for our family, and act on it no matter what.

“In your family when there is a decision to be made that affects everyone, you and your wife together will seek whatever counsel you might need and together you will prayerfully come to a unified decision.” (Carlfred Broderick, quoted by Miller, 2009).

• Let our differences complement each other rather than cause contention.

“Men and women are created as complements. They complete one another. Paul told the Corinthians: ‘Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord’ (1 Corinthians 11:11). Men and women complement each other not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. The apostle Paul taught that ‘the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband’ and through them both the children are made holy (1 Corinthians 7:14). Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, and marriage is a synergistic relationship in which spiritual growth is enhanced because of the differences” (Elder Merrill J. Bateman, “The Eternal Family,” 113).

• Stand as a united leadership at the head of our family, especially in parenting.
  • “It is vital that parents support each other in the presence of their children.  If parents disagree on parenting issues, they should discuss the issues in an ‘executive session’ without the children present.” (Miller, 2009)
  • If we aren’t careful in this, children will use it to their advantage, which will in turn weaken the family foundation.

Most importantly, unity in marriage requires that we live worthy of The Spirit.  This spirit will lead to “personal peace and a feeling of union with others.  It unifies souls.  A unified family, a unified Church, and a world at peace depend on unified souls” (Eyring, 1998). 

In order to have The Spirit with us we need to: 1) put God first in our lives; 2) always remember Him; 3) keep all of His commandments 4) “see the good in each other and speak well of each other whenever we can” 5) forgive and “bear no malice toward those who offend us; 6) stay clean; and 7) beware of pride” (Eyring, 1998).

I know that when there is a lack of unity in my marriage, the whole family suffers.  Disunity is accompanied by contention and The Spirit, offended, leaves our home.  Conversely, the spirit of unity is one of love – the Christ-like love that is charity.   

The marriage of President and Marjorie Hinckley has always been a wonderful example to me. 

  

References:

Ballard, M. Russell (1997) “Counseling With Your Councils.” Chapter 2 (Accessible Version)

Eyring, Henry B. "That We May Be One" Ensign, May 1998, 66.

Miller, Richard B. “Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families.” BYU Conference on

            Family Life, Brigham Young University, March 28, 2009.